When I opened my eyes the next morning it was almost nine o clock, Uyi and I slept the whole night in each others arms. I lay for a moment listening to his heart beat beside me, he looked so peaceful as he slept. A vague satisfaction of our passionate night crept in, I just wanted to watch him sleep, but I knew he would get up very famished. I needed to make him something to eat . The sun suddenly broke from behind the cloud and poured in through my bedroom window, I placed a light kiss on his forehead as I quietly got out of bed to go to the kitchen, after ransacking my pantry, I settled for fried plantain and scambled eggs for breakfast, it was one of Uyi’s favourites.
As I cooked, I tried to sort out how I felt. last night I had told Uyi I was in love with him but he hadn’t repied. I knew he had a woman back home in Abuja but we couldn’t fight what we felt or rather I couldnt. It was like history was repeating itself again. Back in the university I was also in love with a guy who was in a serious relationship with someone else. What was it with me and men who weren’t available.
ND was his name, he was my first and he had made me cry so much, Being older and more mature now, I knew I could handle it. I decided the tears were over, only the hope that my foolishness won’t remain to haunt me. I was going to enjoy having an adult relationship. It was nice having someone’s arms around me all through the night. I wondered what last night meant to him, I precariously clung to the belief that my love would win him over. Last night wasn’t the end, with the way he clung to me after we made love, I knew there was more to come, but I wasn’t about to pressure him into defining our relationship . I was able to put a smile on his face,and that was enough for me.
A certain calm enveloped me. I just wanted to dwell on the long cold passionate night we had spent together. I thought of how good it had felt to be in his arms, to feel his breadth on my hair. I wanted to be his woman, the only one. ”morning shapely”I didn’t hear him creep behind me from behind. He wrapped his arms around me while he kissed my neck softly”I missed you in bed this morning, I wanted to wake up to your kisses” He whispered against my hair. Feeling his breath on me, the heat of his body, to my dismay I realised more than anything I would still be with him even if I was the other woman. I loved him even more than my own self esteem.
* * * * * * *
Four months later Uyi and myself were the envy of all the corpers in Nassarawa, even those not serving in lafia had heard of us. We were the power couple. Mr macho and miss platoon 7. As long as I kept the issue of the other woman at bay, we were well suited. He had professed his love for me a week after we first made love. I had just given him a sensual body massage, he had held my hand kissed it and gazed into my eyes.” Cassie, if you arent sure of what you feel please lets end this now, or else I ll die of heartache if you ever leave me” His face was serious and he looked like he was going to cry. I had laughed him off “you are the one in a serious relationship, I should be telling you that”
“its strange cassie but I cant explain how I feel when I m with you, no woman has ever had that effect on me. I have lost myself in you, I’m usually in control of my affairs but with you Cassie its different. I don’t want to blurt I’m in love with you because I don’t even know what I feel, but I do know I don’t want to lose you.
I know I have someone back home, and I have always thought myself to be a fair man, but cassie I’m not gonna lie, I’m not willing to give you up, I don’t want to think about it, I would be lost without you. I don’t want to love you, I swore I was the most faithful man, but you Cassie…..you are impossible not to love, you are everything I ever wanted in a woman, what do I do with all I’m feeling? I m scared Cassie, so scared because for once I let myself go too easily.
I had teary eyes when he was done talking. I flung myself into his armshow could I not love him. We became inseparable and we enjoyed our time alone, weather we were out strolling in the evenings, or lying down in our little house playing chess and scabble. We frequented joints, restaurant, supermarkets and even the Catholic Church together, like me he was quite the romantic type. We shared a lot in common.we enjoyed our time alone. We spent hours talking on the phone when he was away to work, we laid in each others arms watching movies at night,we shared our dreams, hopes , fears. We talked a lot, we laughed a lot, we played a lot, we were always cocooned in our own little heaven, even our friends began to feel like distractions when they visited. We were like newly married couple on their honey moon. I spoilt him outragrously, I was like a new puppy aiming to please, I pleasured him like he thought wasn’t ever possible, I tended to his needs like a wife would. Being young he wasn’t all that innovative with love making but I was content. Putting a smile on his face and making him feel like a king amongst kings made me happy. For me that was love. It had never dawned on me to get pleasure and satisfaction for myself. The look of pure bliss in his face as he calls out my name when we made love meant the world to me. In no time we had built our home around each other and that was the beginning of our problems.
The ugly head of jealousy reared it’s head. Uyi began to clamp on me, his jealousy grew outrageously he wouldn’t even want his friends visiting when he was away, every man around me became a threat. He would always complain about the way I smiled at them, blinked my eye, laughed at their joke, even the way I walked, he would lash out at me when I get phone calls from guys, peep into my phone when I wasn’t close. He felt every man wanted to get into my pants and I wasn’t doing enough to keep them at bay. In as much as I loved and adored him I wasn’t about to be that woman who shut herself out to the world for her man, especially when he had another woman waiting for him on the other side, and so the fights started.
Our first row was when my male colleague had given me a ride home in the storm, and I had invited him in to wait out the rain because his car wasn’t air conditioned . Uyi thought it was disrespectful that I had stayed indoors alone with a man in our home in his absence, especially since he felt I enjoyed flirting a lot. I was hurt and angry that he didn’t trust me, we had a ferrorious row when he flung his faithfulness to my face, he insisted he was a very careful man and didn’t want to expose himself to any sexually transmitted disease. I hadnt spoken to him for days, if Uyi had one fault it was his inability to say sorry or admit his wrong. I later apologised and swore to never disrespect him again.
A month later he was away on a workshop and when he called, he heard his friend hailing him in the background. James was Uyi closest corper friend, he was popular amongst the ladies for his sexual skills and prowls. James was visiting another mutual friend in the area and decided to check in, being that I was a facisnating cook, he had stayed back to enjoy the banga soup I had just finished making.
Uyi rang me back later and cursed at me, he was having none of it. He said I was interested in finding out if what the ladies said about james was true. I had been really shocked at his words and the bitterness in his voice. Frantic with worry I rang him the next day expecting he must have cooled off and was apologetic, but he wouldn’t even pick my calls and never bothered to call back. it was days before he returned to Lafia.
Deeply upset, I still welcomed him, like always, I gave him a massage to ease the tension from travelling, I just loved having him home.
After a session of lovemaking we lay to talk about it. Uyi didnt think he was wrong to react that way and I just cried endlessly. I loved him too much to see him mad. In the end I was on the apologetic end with him playing the victim.
lots of jealous tantrums were thrown on mere speculations and unfounded allegations however I always swallowed and run myself back into his arms. He was like an antidote to a poison in my bloodstream, the bond was so strong, my life in lafia would be miserable fighting with him, wouldn’t survive it
To be continued…………..